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An IRS agent stepped into a synagogue looking for the rabbi.

"Rabbi," he said when he found him," do you know a Mr. Morris Katz?"

"Well, yes, I do," said the rabbi.

"Is he a member of your congregation?" asked the agent.

"Uh, yes, he is," said the rabbi, "why do you ask?"

"I'm from the IRS. Can you tell me something? Did he make the $100,000 donation to the
synagogue, that he claimed on his tax return?" asked the IRS agent.

"I would have to check our records," replied the rabbi, "butn if he hasn't, I can assure
you that he will!"



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The city of Paris lost the chance to host the 2012 Olympics and they're very bitter about
it.

Apparently the Parisians are disappointed because they were looking forward to being rude
to thousands of new people.

-Conan O'Brien


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The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable words. She thought it
would be a good idea to ask a few of the children examples of words with more than one
syllable.

"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?"

"After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday."

"Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day"

"Does anyone know another word."

"I do! I do!" replied Johnny.

Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike instead.

"OK Mike, what is your word."

"Saturday." says Mike.

"Great, that has three syllables..."

Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable word. Pick me! Pick me!"

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the teacher reluctantly says, "O.K.
Johnny what is your four syllable word?"

Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion." Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her
composure says, "Wow, Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."

"No Ma'am, your thinking of 'blowjob', and that's only two syllables."



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A man who compromises when he’s wrong is wise; a man who compromises when he’s right is
married.


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