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On vacation one year I went to a resort in Wyoming. As part of the usual activities, a
neighboring ranch invited guests from our resort to participate in a cattle drive.

After watching 20 make-believe cowpokes whooping and hollering, I rode up to the ranch
owner and asked her how many cowboys it normally takes to drive a herd of that size.

"One," she replied.

"One?!" I said incredulously.

"And a dog," she added.


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A man approached his friend and said, "Say Jim, you want to hit the golf course this
afternoon?"

"Sorry, I can't," came the reply

"Why not?" he asked.

He responded, "my doctor told me I can't play."

"Oh," said the friend, "so he's been out with you too?"


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A man went into his shrink's office and says, "Doc, you have got to help me!
Every night I keep dreaming that I'm a sports car.

The other night I dreamed I was a Ferrari. Another night I dreamed I was a BMW. Last night
I dreamed I was a Porsche. What does this mean?"

"Relax", says the doctor, "You're just having an auto-body experience."


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A father had three very active boys.

One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner.

One of the boys "shot" his father and yelled, "Bang! You're dead!"

He slumped to the ground and when he didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see
if he had been hurt in the fall.

When the neighbor bent over, the overworked father opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't
give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day."


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