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A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had
a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he
said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancיe, very
much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be put
off by them."

"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and
always wear socks, even to bed."

This seemed to be a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom.

"Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful."

"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning."

"No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my new husband
will not want to sleep in the same room with me."

Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for
the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your
teeth. Not a word," her mother affirmed. She thought it was certainly worth a try.

The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful ceremony.

Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her
morning silence, they managed quite well, until about six months later.

Shortly before dawn, the husband awoke with a start to find that one of his socks had come
off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searched the bed.

This, of course, woke his bride who without thinking, immediately asked, "What on earth
are you doing?"

"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my sock!"


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A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a small boy tying to press a
doorbell on a house across the street. However, the doorbell is just out of his reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's
position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and,
placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now
what, my little man?"

To which the boy turns and yells, "NOW WE RUN!"


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A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three dangerous looking bikers walked
in.

The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then
took a seat at the counter.

The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat
at the counter.

The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a
seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.

Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was
he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over
three motorcycles."


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A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the boots and the double-barreled
shotgun.

As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, right on his penis.

Obviously, he had to see a doctor. When he woke up from surgery, he found that the doctor
had done a marvelous job repairing it.

As he got ready to go home, the doctor gave him a business card. "This is my brothers
card. I'll make an appointment for you to see him."

The guy says "Is your brother a doctor?"

"No," Doc replies, "he plays the flute. He'll show you where to put your fingers so you
don't piss in your eye."


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