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Four men went to play golf.
Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care
of the bill.
The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.

The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful he gave
a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership.
He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully loaded."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker, and he's
doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock and bond portfolio."

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.

The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"

The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay bar."

The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally thrilled about the
dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a new
Mercedes, and a complete stock portfolio!"

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Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You
know, I don't know what else to do.

Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get
to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off
before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease
into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I
screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes in the
closet, jump into bed, slap her on the ass and say, "WHO'S HORNY".....?!!!"

And she acts like she's sound asleep.

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A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had
a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he
said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancיe, very
much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be put
off by them."

"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and
always wear socks, even to bed."

This seemed to be a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom.

"Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful."

"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning."

"No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my new husband
will not want to sleep in the same room with me."

Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for
the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your
teeth. Not a word," her mother affirmed. She thought it was certainly worth a try.

The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful ceremony.

Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her
morning silence, they managed quite well, until about six months later.

Shortly before dawn, the husband awoke with a start to find that one of his socks had come
off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searched the bed.

This, of course, woke his bride who without thinking, immediately asked, "What on earth
are you doing?"

"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my sock!"

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A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a small boy tying to press a
doorbell on a house across the street. However, the doorbell is just out of his reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's
position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and,
placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now
what, my little man?"

To which the boy turns and yells, "NOW WE RUN!"

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