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A man & wife entered a dentist's office.

The Wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a
terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."

You're a brave woman said the dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is.

The wife turns to her husband and says "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth
it is, dear."



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An old man lived alone in Missouri. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very
hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in Jefferson City Prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.
Shortly, he received this reply, "For HEAVEN'S SAKE Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's
where I buried the GUNS!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, two dozen policemen showed up and dug up the entire garden,
without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asking
him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Now you can plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do at
this time."



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The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to
death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a
hammer."

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand
your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge
you with contempt. Is that understood?"

The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but for
fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a
hammer, he said he didn't have one."


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A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a
storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a
few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly he saw a car coming toward him and stop.

Without thinking about it, the guy got into the back seat, closed the door and then
realized there was nobody behind the wheel!

The car started slowly, the guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way.

Scared, he started to pray begging for his life. He hadn't come out of shock, when just
before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel.

The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time right before a
curve.

Gathering his strength, the guy finally jumped out of the car and ran to the nearest town.


Wet and in shock, he went to a restaurant and started telling everybody about the horrible
experience he went through.

A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was serious.

About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same restaurant. They looked around for a
table when one said to the other,

"Look John, that's the guy who got in the car when we were pushing it."


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