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Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from
the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven
years old.

They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a
pair of shoes over a decade ago.

"Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked.

"Not very likely," his wife said.

"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the
car, and drove to the store.

With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter.

With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these."
He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.

Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"

"No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be
here after all this time."

The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday," he said
calmly.


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A priest was walking along the corridor of the parochial school near the preschool wing
when a group of little ones were trotting by on the way to the cafeteria.

One little boy stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you
dress funny?"

He told him he was a priest and this is the uniform priests wear. The little boy pointed
to the priest's plastic collar tab and asked, "Do you have an owie?"

The priest was perplexed till he realized that to him the collar tab looked like a
band-aid.

So the priest took it out and handed it to the little boy, to show him. On the back of the
tab were raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer.

The boy felt the letters, and the priest asked, "Do you know what those words say?"

"Yes I do," replied the young boy, who was not old enough to read.

Peering intently at the letters he said, "Kills ticks and fleas up to six months!"


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The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked,
"Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45
degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."


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Answers to Questions on Science Tests
By 5th and 6th graders:

The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the
bottom.

A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water and then forcing it through an
aviator.

The inhabitants of Moscow are Mosquitoes.

It is so hot in some places that people there have to live in other places.

Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look like umbrellas.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I never have been able to
make out the numbers.

In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.

When planets run around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do
it, we say they are crazy.

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

For asphyxiation, apply artificial respiration until the victim is dead.

Blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

The word "trousers" is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at
the bottom.

Rain is saved up in cloud banks.

To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why you should.

Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big enough to be called a drop, it
does.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because so many
people are stomping around there these days.

The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of
things people forget to put the top on.

You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear
it, you got hit, so never mind.


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