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I don't approve of political jokes...

I've seen too many of them get elected.


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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.


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Love is one long sweet dream,
and marriage is the alarm clock.


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If you stop having sex, drinking and smoking,
You don't live longer...

It just seems like it.


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You're so ugly, when you go to the zoo the monkeys
take pictures of you!


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Yo mamma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by
jumping out her basement window.


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Q: What do you call a man with a car on his head?
A: Jack!


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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.


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Q: What do you call a blonde in a business suit,
sitting on a tree, holding a briefcase?

A: A branch manager.


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A Blonde is sitting in the first class in the front of the plane.
She is told the first 5 seats are first class and she should go to the back.
The Blonde replied: "I am Blonde , intelligent and i am on my way to London in this very
seat"
The first officer came and told her it was a seat for someone who paid a lot for it and
she should
go to her seat at the back but he too got that answer:
"I am Blonde , intelligent and i am on my way to London in this very seat"
The staff called the pilot who whispered a few words in her ear and got her up and at the
back in no time.
when the plane landed the staff asked the pilot: "what did you tell her?"
The pilot: "i told her the first 5 seats are going to Iraq and the rest of the plane to
London..."


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