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how to successfully catch an elephant:
First, you need to dig a hole in the
ground that is capable of holding an
elephant.
Fill the hole with ashes.
Line the hole with peas.
And when your elephant comes to take
a pea, you kick him in the ash hole.


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A lady with a frog stuck to her
head comes to the doctor's office.
When the doctor asked her what's
wrong the frog says, I got
something stuck to my ass!


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A small frog goes to a fortune teller
and asks if he is gonna meet a young girl.
The teller tells him, Yes, you are.
The frog replies, Where? In a bar or at a party?
The teller says, In biology class!


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A man had a very small penis,
so he went to a witch to make
it longer.
She said, Go into the forest
and ask the toad there to marry
you, each time it says no,
your penis will grow one inch.
Happy, the man ran to the forest
and started yelling, Froggie,
Froggie, will you marry me?
The frog, of course, replied, No
and the man's penis grew one inch.
So he repeated this again,
Froggie, Froggie, will you
marry me?
The frog yelled back NO!
After a couple times more,
the frog was getting mad,
but the man decided one more
time and one more inch wouldn't
hurt, so he yelled again,
Froggie, Froggie, will you
marry me?
And the exasperated frog said,
Don't you undrstand? no!no!no!NO!!!


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