A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk." Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead." Man: "What covers a house?" Dog: "Roof!" Man: "How does sandpaper feel?" Dog: "Rough!" Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?" Dog: "Ruth!" Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk." The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says: "Or is the greatest player Mantle?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 585 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant. "I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere-it's so sanitary that the whole place shines." "Please," said the other roach, "Not while I'm eating!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 548 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to pee all over the blind man's legs. A passerby commented to the blind man: "What! That dog just peed all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?" The blind man replied: "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 1 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A blind man walk into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the bank floor,took the dog by the chain, and started swinging him around his head. Everyone stooped what they were doing and looked. The other costumers were very confused and some very upset at the way the animal was treated. One of the tellers run up to the blindman and asked: "Sir, what are you doing?!?" The man turned toward the teller and simply said: "Looking around" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 126 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.