A man is taking his Rottwyller out for a walk. It is a hot day and after a while he decides to go into a bar for a drink. Since dogs are not allowed he ties the dog outside. After a few drinks a woman walks into the bar and asks if someone has a large dog out front. He proudly states "yes, it is my Rottwyller, why do you ask"? She blurts out "It's dead". Stunned the man asks "did you hit it with your car"? She replies "no, my dog killed it". Knowing how powerful a dog the Rottwyller is he poses the question to her, "Pit-bull"? "No, I have a Chihuahua" came the answer. Puzzled he asked, "how did your Chihuahua kill my Rottwyller "? She replies, "well I'm no vet, but I'd think she got stuck in his throat." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 8 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. This guy walks into a bar with 3 ducks. The guy has a few drinks then goes to the toilet. The bartender seizes the opportunity and asks the first duck. "What's your name and what did you do today?" "My names Hughy. I went in and out of puddles all day long." Then he asks the seconded duck. "What's your name and what you do today?" "My name is Louie and I went in and I out of puddles all day long and I want to tomorrow." Then he goes to the last duck. "Your name must be Dughy, right?" "My name's Puddles and don't ask me how my fuckin' day went." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 8 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times." The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day." The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and fuck the cat." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 7 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q. What do turtles and blondes have in common? A. When they are on their back, they are both fucked! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 108 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.