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A 3-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother
that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens.
"How did you know?" his mother asked.
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied
"I think it's printed on the bottom."


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A magician on a cruise liner had a
parrot ,who'd seen all the magician's
tricks a jillion times, long ago having
figured out how the magician made
everything in the act disappear.
The parrot grew to be bored shitless,
his owner growing stale and not developing
any new tricks that the parrot could figure out.
One night in the middle of the magician's
performance, the ship hit an iceberg
and sank. Everyone drowned except the
magician and the parrot.
The magician managed to swim to a piece
of wreckage and climb aboard, immediately
collapsing from exhaustion. Soon
afterward, the parrot flew to the magician
and perched on the edge of the makeshift
raft and stared at the magician .And stared.
And stared. For a whole day the magician
was unconscious, and all this time the parrot
didn't take his eyes off him. Eventually the
magician started to stir. Looking up, he saw
the parrot, still eyeing him intently, not even
blinking. Another hour goes by, and finally
the parrot squawks: "All right, I give up.
What did you do with the goddamn ship?"


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Q:- How does an elephant climb a tree?
A:- He sits on a little plant and waits till it grows.


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