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A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden
two turtles appear. They take his money,
and leave him for dead.
Months later in the courtroom, the judge asks the snail
to describe what happened on the night of the assault.
The snail: "Gee, I would love to, your honor,
but it all happened so fast!"


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Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

A: When you're a mouse!


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Q: What has more lives than a cat?

A: A frog. It croaks every night.


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Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging
about their bravery and toughness.
First rat: "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful
of rat poison!"
Second rat: "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught
in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"
Then the third rat gets up and says:
"Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."


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