There were women waiting in a doctor's office. They started talking and one women said, "I'm going to have a girl because I was on the bottom last time and I had a girl. I was on the bottom again this time so I'm going to have another girl." One of the other ladies said, "I'm going to have a boy, I was on the top." The last lady started to cry. The two other ladies asked, "Why are you crying?" She replied, "I'm going to have puppies!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 90 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth. The doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd like to try it. The machine would take some of the woman's pain away and give it to the father thereby easing the mothers burden. The couple thought it was a good idea and agreed to give it a try. The Doc set it on 10% to begin with, telling the man that 10% was still probably more pain than he had ever felt. The man was surprised at how little pain he was feeling and asked for it to be increased. The doctor turned it up to 20% with the same results. This trend continued until the machine was set at 100%. After the delivery both mother and father felt fine. The wife was relieved at having an almost painless labor and the father was still amazed at how little pain was actually involved. Later, when they took the baby home, they found the mailman dead on their doorstep. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 92 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, " Hey honey, you're getting fat. Your butt is huge. I'll bet it's as wide as the gas grill." Feeling the need to prove his point, he got out a yard stick and measured the grill, then his wife's butt." Yep," he said, "Just what I thought, just about the same size." The wife became incensed and left him gardening alone. She went inside the house and didn't speak to him for the rest of the day. When they retired to bed that evening, the husband cuddled up to his wife and said, "How about it, honey? How about a little lovemaking?" The wife turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. "What's the matter?" he asked. She replied, "You don't think I'm going to fire up this big ass grill for one little weenie, do you?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 91 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 15 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.