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There were two gay men going
for a piss in a public toilet.
One said to the other: "Why
have you got a nicotine patch
on your dick?"
He replied: "Im cutting down
on fags!!!"


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Two women, both smokers, were waiting at a bus
stop, when all of a sudden, it started to rain.
One woman pulled out a condom, snipped off the
end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
The other one asked what it was, and the lady replied:
"Oh, it's a condom. You should be able to get
them at most drugstores."
The woman went to a drugstore on her lunch break
that day and went up to the counter to ask for a
pack of condoms. The cashier asked what size she
wanted, and the old woman thought for awhile, and
then said: "One that will fit a Camel."


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"I must take every precaution not to get pregnant"
said Donna to Sharon.
"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy"
Sharon responded.
"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."


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Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while
his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday
afternoon poker game with friends and relatives.
The father tried every way possible to get Johnny
to occupy himself... television, ice cream,
homework, video games...but the youngster insisted
on running back and forth behind the players and
calling out the cards they held.
The other players became so annoyed that they
threatened to quit the game and all go home.
At this point, the boy's uncle stood up, took
Johnny by the hand, and led him out of the room.
The uncle soon returned back to the poker table
without Johnny and without comment, the game resumed.
For the rest of the afternoon, little Johnny was
nowhere to be seen and the cardplayers continued
without any further interruptions. After the poker
game ended, the father asked Johnny's uncle,
"What in the world did you do to Johnny? I haven't
heard a peep from him all day!"
"Not much," the boy's uncle replied. "I just
showed him how to jerk off."


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