There were two gay men going for a piss in a public toilet. One said to the other: "Why have you got a nicotine patch on your dick?" He replied: "Im cutting down on fags!!!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 122 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Two women, both smokers, were waiting at a bus stop, when all of a sudden, it started to rain. One woman pulled out a condom, snipped off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. The other one asked what it was, and the lady replied: "Oh, it's a condom. You should be able to get them at most drugstores." The woman went to a drugstore on her lunch break that day and went up to the counter to ask for a pack of condoms. The cashier asked what size she wanted, and the old woman thought for awhile, and then said: "One that will fit a Camel." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 100 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. "I must take every precaution not to get pregnant" said Donna to Sharon. "But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy" Sharon responded. "He did. That's why I have to take every precaution." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 15 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. The father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself... television, ice cream, homework, video games...but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the cards they held. The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to quit the game and all go home. At this point, the boy's uncle stood up, took Johnny by the hand, and led him out of the room. The uncle soon returned back to the poker table without Johnny and without comment, the game resumed. For the rest of the afternoon, little Johnny was nowhere to be seen and the cardplayers continued without any further interruptions. After the poker game ended, the father asked Johnny's uncle, "What in the world did you do to Johnny? I haven't heard a peep from him all day!" "Not much," the boy's uncle replied. "I just showed him how to jerk off." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 24 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.