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A mother found her son scooping ice cream in
the kitchen and was mad.
Mom : "Dinner is going to be ready in an hour,
put that ice cream away and go play."
Son : "But mom, there's no one to play with."
Mom : "I'll play with you, what do you wanna play?"
Son : "Lets play mommy and daddy, you go upstairs
and lay down on the bed."
The mom said ok and went upstairs. The son put on
his dad's fishing hat and lit up one of his dad's
cigarettes. He went upstairs and opened the door.
Mom : "Now what do I do?"
Son : "Get your ass out of bed, you whore, and fix
that kid some fucking ice cream."


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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"
Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS."
"Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks
the patient.
"You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."
Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well,
that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."


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One day a girl brings home her boyfriend
and tells her father she wants to marry him.
After talking to him for while, he tells
his daughter she can't do it because he's
her half brother. The same problem happens
again four more times! The girl starts to
get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says,
"Mom... What have you been doing all your
life? Dad's been going around laying every
maiden in the town and now I can't marry any
of the five guys I like because they have
turned out to be my half brothers!!!"
Her mom replies, "Don't worry darling, you
can marry any one of them you want, he isn't
really your dad."


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Q: Why do Canadians do it doggie-style?
A: So they don't miss the hockey game.


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