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Your honour, I am 75 years old.
So here I am, sitting there on
my porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping
up on the porch and sits beside me.
He starts to rub my thigh, and
it feels good, Your Honour. So
I don't stop him, and he begins
to rub my old breasts, Your Honour.
Why, Your Honour, I haven't felt
that good in years! So I just
spread my old legs and say to him,
"Take me, young man, Take me!"
That's when he yelled, "April Fool"
and that's when I shot the Fucking
Son of a Bitch!!


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There was a shoe sales man sitting in
his store when a beautiful woman comes in.
He looks at her and can't stop staring.
While helping her try on a pair of shoes
he glances up her skirt to find she isn't
wearing any panties. He started thinking
and something slipped out. The man said
"I'd like to fill your pussy with ice
cream and lick it all out!" Hearing this
the woman runs out to tell her husband.
She says, "Honey, this shoe salesman said
he'd like to fill my pussy up with ice
cream and lick it all out!" "Now go kick
his ass!". The husband replied "Dear,
anyone that can eat that much ice cream,
I ain't fuckin' with!"


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A guy was playing golf, a golf ball
hit him in the balls and he passed out.
His friends took him to the doctor.
The man asked him, "Well, what do you
think, doc?" The doctor replied,"
We're going to have to put in a support
for about a week." He then takes four
tongue depressors and ties them all
together with string. The man's face
looked disappointed, he told the doctor
"But tonight's me and my wife's honeymoon."
The doctor replied, "Your going to
have to bear with it." Later that night,
the man and his wife were in bed. She
took off her shirt and grabs her breasts,
"No one has ever seen these before."
The man pulls out his wang and says,
"Well mines still in the crate!"


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During her annual checkup, the well-constructed
miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the
examining table. "Doctor," she replied shyly,
"I just can't undress in front of you."
"All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off
the lights. You undress and tell me when you're
through." In a few moments, her voice rang out
in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What
shall I do with my clothes?" "Put them on the
chair, on top of mine."


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