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On their first night together,
a newlywed couple go to change.
The new bride comes out of the
bathroom showered and wearing
a beautiful robe. The proud
husband says, "My dear, we are
married now, you can open your
robe." The beautiful young
woman opens her robe, and he
is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh,"
he exclaims, "My God you are so
beautiful, let me take your picture.
Puzzled she asks, "My picture?"
He answers, "Yes my dear, so I
can carry your beauty next to
my heart forever". She smiles
and he takes her picture, and
then he heads into the bathroom
to shower. He comes out wearing
his robe and the new wife asks,
"Why do you wear a robe? We are
married now." At that the man
opens his robe and she exclaims,
"oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a
picture". He beams and asks why
and she answers, "So I can get
it enlarged!"


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A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting
around a camp fire one night. The dog
says, "My life sucks, my master makes
me do my business on a fire hydrent!".
The cat says, "I don't think so, my
master makes me do my business in a
box of cat litter." The penis outraged,
says "At least your master doesn't put
a bag over your head and make you do
push ups until you throw up!"


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A man and a woman started to have
sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the
man finally gets up and says, "Damn,
I wish I had a flashlight!". The
woman says, "Me too, you've been
eating grass for the past ten minutes!"


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This couple were in bed getting
busy when the girl places the guys
hand onto her pussy. "Put your
finger in me..." she asks him.
So he does without hesitation,
as she starts moaning. "Put two
fingers in...", she says. So in
goes another one. She's really
starting to get worked up when
she says, "Put your whole hand
in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So
he has his entire hand in, when
she says moaning aloud "Put both
your hands inside of me!!!". So
the guy puts both of his hands
in! "Now clap your hands..."
commands the girl. "I can't",
says the guy. The girl looks at
him and says "See, I told you I
had a tight pussy!".


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