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A couple has returned from their honeymoon
and it was obvious to everyone that they
are not talking to each other. The groom's
best man takes him aside and asks what's wrong.
"Well," replied the man "when we had finished
making love on the first night, as I got up
to go to the bathroom, I put a $50 bill on
the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much,
"said his friend, "I'm sure your wife will
get over it soon enough - she can't expect you
to have been saving yourself all these years!"
The groom nodded gently and said: "I don't know
if I can get over this though: She gave me $20 change!''



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Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless
you're not getting any.



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A little kid walks into a city bus and sits
right behind the driver and starts yelling:
"If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd
be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid,
who continues with: "If my dad was an elephant
and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant."
The kid goes on with several animals until
the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid:
"What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says: "I would be a bus driver!"



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A guy is standing outside on his balcony
on the 5th floor of his apartment, when
he spots this gorgeous babe sunbathing
on the 3rd floor balcony wearing the
skimpiest bathing suit he's ever seen.
He watches her for 3 days straight, and
can't stand it any longer.
He sends down a note on a piece of string:
"If you want me to make love to you please
pull on the string once. If not please pull
slowly 20 times and then faster another 10."



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