A large, powerfully built guy named Ralf meets a woman named Pamela at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are in the bedroom, Ralf stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, Ralf flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" Pamela begins to drool. Ralf then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" Pamela is just aching for action at this point. Finally, Ralf drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, Pamela grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. Ralf catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" Pamela then replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 465 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. "My love," he wrote, "we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we're constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted?" So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, "Why don't you learn to play this?" Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. "Darling" he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!" She kissed him and said, "First let's see you play that harmonica." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 432 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. There was this married couple where the husband had a small dick, so every time they had sex he used a pickle instead of his dick. Seven year's he has been doing that. One night his wife suspect that something is wrong so while they are having sex she quickly threw the cover and turned on the lights! So the woman said, "What the hell is that, are you using a pickle on me, for seven years you have been doing that, you piece of shit." So the man said, "Shut the fuck up! It's been seven years and I never asked where the hell those kids came from!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 465 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he tells to his wife what he just bought. "Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What makes them so special?" "There is three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze." "What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asks. "Gold, of course", says the man proudly. The wife responds “Really,? Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 946 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.