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A large, powerfully built guy named
Ralf meets a woman named Pamela at
a bar. After a number of drinks, they
agree to go back to his place. As they
are in the bedroom, Ralf stands up
and starts to undress. After he takes
his shirt off, Ralf flexes his muscular
arms and says,
"See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of
dynamite!" Pamela begins to drool. Ralf
then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's
pose, and says, referring to his
bulging thighs,
"See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds
of dynamite!" Pamela is just aching
for action at this point. Finally, Ralf
drops his underpants, and after a quick
glance, Pamela grabs her purse and runs
screaming to the front door. Ralf catches
her before she is able to leave and asks,
"Why are you in such a hurry to go?" Pamela
then replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite
and such a short fuse, I was afraid you
were about to blow!"



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A newly married sailor was informed
by the Navy that he was going to be
stationed a long way from home on a
remote island in the Pacific for a year.
A few weeks after he got there he began
to miss his new wife, so he wrote her
a letter.
"My love," he wrote, "we are going to
be apart for a very long time. Already
I'm starting to miss you and there's
really not much to do here in the evenings.
Besides that, we're constantly surrounded
by young attractive native girls. Do you
think if I had a hobby of some kind I
would not be tempted?"
So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying,
"Why don't you learn to play this?"
Eventually his tour of duty came to an end
and he rushed back to his wife.
"Darling" he said, "I can't wait to get
you into bed so that we make passionate love!"
She kissed him and said, "First let's see
you play that harmonica."



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There was this married couple where
the husband had a small dick, so every
time they had sex he used a pickle
instead of his dick. Seven year's he
has been doing that. One night his
wife suspect that something is wrong
so while they are having sex she
quickly threw the cover and turned
on the lights! So the woman said,
"What the hell is that, are you using
a pickle on me, for seven years you
have been doing that, you piece of shit."
So the man said, "Shut the fuck up!
It's been seven years and I never asked
where the hell those kids came from!"



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A man is out shopping and discovers a
new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly
impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting
home he tells to his wife what he just bought.
"Olympic condoms?" she blurts, "What
makes them so special?"
"There is three colors", he replies,
"Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asks.
"Gold, of course", says the man proudly.
The wife responds “Really,? Why don't
you wear Silver, it would be nice if
you came second for a change!"



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