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A policeman noticed an old lady
standing on a street corner during
a sudden windstorm. She was bracing
herself by holding a light post with
one hand, and she was holding her
hat snugly against her head with her
other hand. Unfortunately, a strong
gust blew her dress upward, and it
continued to flap in the wind,
exposing her privates for everyone
to see. The policeman asked,
"Hey Lady, everybody is taking a look
at what you've got. Don't you think
that pulling your dress down is more
important than worrying about your
hat?"
"Look, sonny,. What these people
are looking at is 85 years old...But this
hat is BRAND NEW!"


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One night this guy and his girlfriend were about
to go into his apartment and before he could
open his door his girlfriend said:
"Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes
love by how he unlocks his door."
The guy says,
"Well, give me some examples."
The girlfriend proceeds to tell him,
"Well the first way is, if a guy shoves his key in
the lock, and opens the door hard, then that
means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me."
"The second way is if a man fumbles around
and can't seem to find the hole than that means
he is inexperienced and that isn't for me either."
Then she said,
"Honey, how do you unlock your door?",
"Well"He said, "first before I do
anything else, I lick the lock."


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A man was on a date with a woman.
They had returned to her place and
were sitting on the sofa, making out.
Nibbling her earlobe, the man whispered,
"You know, I'd like a little pussy."
She said,
"Oh, me too, mine's as big as a house."


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A young lady went to a dance,
and she had a low-cut, strapless
gown on. Around her neck she wore
a little golden airplane on a long chain.
All night she noticed a young man,
staring at her. In her embarrassment,
she held up the airplane and said:
"Oh, you like my airplane, huh?"
The young man smiled mischievously.
"No ma'am,
I was just admiring the landing field."


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