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A woman went to an attorney to ask about a divorce.
Attorney: "What grounds do you have, ma'm?"
Woman: "About six acres."
Attorney: "No, I don't think you quite understand.
Let me rephrase the question. do you have a grudge?"
Woman: "No, just a parking space."
Attorney: "I'll try again. does your husband beat you?"
Woman: "No, I always get up at least an hour before
he does."
Attorney: "Madam, are you sure you want a divorce?"
Woman: "I'm not the one who wants a divorce,
My husband does. He claims we don't communicate."


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I have learned that if you upset your wife she nags you...
If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment...

Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?



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Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, Men will screw anything.



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George is in a hotel lobby.
He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally
bumps into a woman beside him and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast.
George: "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
I know you'll forgive me."
Woman: "if your penis is as hard as your elbow,
I'm in room 1323."


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