Three engineers were standing around talking one day bragging. One says, "You know, I'll bet God must be like a mechanical engineer. Look at our joints, how we're constructed, how much stress they can take. It's amazing!" "Na", says the second engineer. "He must be more like an electrical engineer. Look at our nervous system. It's unbelievable!" "No way", says the last engineer. "God must be more like a civil engineer. Why else would he build us with a large waste pipeline going right through a major recreational area?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 313 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. David took his old friend, Dave, home for Hanuka, and after dinner, spoke to his father, "Dad, I need to tell you something. Dave and I want to get married and we'd like your blessing." David's father practically exploded, his face turned red, and was literally speechless for ten minutes. When he finally regained his composure, he replied, "David, you cannot marry Dave! For God's sake, David, ... he's not Jewish!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 125 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend and asked him to cover for him. He told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asks, "What did you do?" The woman says, "I committed adultery." The priest says, "How many times?" And the woman replies, "Three." Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more." A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, "Father forgive me for I have sinned." "What did you do?", asked the priest. "I committed adultery.", said the man. "How many times?", asked the priest. "Three times.", said the man. The priest says, "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more." The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it, so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned." The rabbi says, "What did you do?" The woman replies, "I committed adultery." The rabbi, The rabbi said, "Go and do it two more times, We have a special this week, three for $5." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 91 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. There was an atheist who's boat was drowned in the ocean. He started to swim to the beach. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming like crazy. The beach is a ways off and he starts swimming faster and faster. He's scared to death, and as he turns to see the jaws of the shark open revealing its teeth, the atheist screams, "Oh God! Please help me!" In an instant time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, "You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?" Knowing he can't lie the man replies, "Well, that's true I don't believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?" The Lord replies, "As you wish," and the light retracted back into the heavens and the man could feel the water begin to move once again. As the atheist looks back he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back. Shocked, the man looks at the shark as the huge beast closes its eyes and bows its head and says, "Thank you Lord for this food for which I am about to receive..." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 200 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.