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One Sunday morning, the priest
noticed Little Johnny was staring
up at the large plaque that hung
in the foyer of the church. It
was covered with names, and small
American flags were mounted on
either side of it. The seven-year
old had been staring at the plaque
for some time, so the priest
walked up, stood beside the boy,
and said quietly, "Good morning,
Little Johnny."
"Good morning, Father," replied
the young man, still focused on
the plaque.
"Father Scott, what is this?"
Little Johnny asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to
all the young men and women who
died in the service." Soberly,
they stood together, staring at
the large plaque. Little Johnny's
voice was barely audible when
he asked, "Which service, the
9:45 or the 11:15?"


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Several years ago, the Catholic Church
required women to wear a head covering
in order to enter the sanctuary. One
Sunday a lady arrived without her head
covering. The priest informs her that
she cannot enter without it. A few
moments later, the lady re-appears
wearing her blouse tied to her head.
The shocked priest says, "Madam, I
cannot allow you to enter this holy
place without your wearing a blouse."
"But Father, I have a divine right,"
she informs. "Yes, I see. And your
left one isn't bad either, but you
still must wear a blouse to enter
this church!" he insists.


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Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together,
discussing how important their children are.
The first one tells her friends, "My son is a
priest. When he walks into a room, everyone
calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son
is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room,
people say, 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not
to put you down, but my son is a cardinal.
Whenever he walks into a room, people say
'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.
The first three women give her this subtle "Well..?"
She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2",
hard-bodied, well-hung, male stripper. Whenever he
walks into a room, people say, "My God...."


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A man went to Synagogue one shabbat and
afterwards he stopped to shake the rabbi's hand.
He said, "Rabbi, I'll tell you, that was
a G-d-damned fine sermon."
The rabbi said, "Thank you sir, but I'd
rather you didn't use that kind of language
in the Lord's House."
The man said, "I was so fucking impressed
with that sermon I put five thousand dollars
in the tzedakah box!"
The rabbi said, "No Shit?


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