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A priest, minister, and a rabbi were standing around
a large circle with all of their churches money.
They just couldn't decide how much to give to God
and how much to spend. The priest suggested that
they throw it all up in the air and whatever lands
inside the circle they give to God.
"No, no, no" said the minister "we should throw it
all up in the air and whatever lands outside the
circle we will give to God."
"You both are wrong," stated the rabbi. "We should
throw it all up in the air and whatever God wants
he will keep."


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A man wondered if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin.
The reason is because he is not sure if sex is work
or play. So he goes to a priest. He asks for the
priest's opinion. After consulting the Bible, the
priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I
am positive that sex is work and is therefore not
permitted on the Sabbath."
The man thinks, "What does a priest know about sex?"
So, he decides to ask a minister. The minister gives
the same reply as the priest had given him. Sex is
work, and therefore not permitted on the Sabbath.
Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi.
The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, "My son,
sex is definitely play."
The man asks, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when
so many others are convinced that sex is work?"
The Rabbi replies, "If sex were work, my wife would
have the maid do it."


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There was this Christian lady who had to
do a lot of traveling for her business so
she did a lot of flying. But flying made
her nervous so she always took her Bible
along with her to read and it helped relax
her. One time she was sitting next to a man.
When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave
a little chuckle and went back to what he
was doing. After a while he turned to her
and asked, "You don't really believe all
that stuff in there do you?"
The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is
the Bible."
He said, "Well, what about that guy that
was swallowed by that whale?"
She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe
that, it is in the Bible."
He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he
survived all that time inside the whale?"
The lady said, "Well, I don't really know.
I guess when I get to heaven I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man
asked sarcastically.
"Then you can ask him," replied the lady.


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The little girl reported at home what she
had learned at Sunday school concerning
the creation of Adam and Eve: "The teacher
told us how God made the first man and the
first woman. He made the man first. But
the man was very lonely with nobody to
talk to him. So God put the man to sleep.
And while the man was asleep, God took out
his brains and made a woman of them."


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