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A Sunday School teacher was having a hard time
getting her young charges to grasp the message
of the Good Samaritan. Finally, she pointed at
one of the least attentive children and asked,
"Mary, suppose on the way to church you passed
a vacant lot and saw a man in ragged clothes
lying on the ground, so badly beaten up that
he was covered in blood...What would you do?"
The eight year old's response: "I'd throw up!"


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Jhon died at the controls of a plane and went
to pilot's hell, where he found a hideous
devil and three doors. The devil was busy
escorting other pilots to various "hell rooms".
He said, "I'll be right back don't go away"
and he vanished. Sneaking over to the first
door, Jhon peeked in and saw a cockpit where
the pilot was condemned to forever run through
preflight checks. He slammed the door and
peeked into the second. There, alarms rang
and red lights flashed while a pilot had to
avoid one emergency after another. Unable to
imagine a worse fate Jhon cautiously opened
the third door. He was amazed to see many
beautiful, scantily clad flight attendants
answering to a captain's every whim.
He quickly returned to his place seconds
before the devil reappeared. "Okay, Jhon,"
said the devil, "Which door will it be,
number 1 or number 2?"
"Um, I want door number 3," answered Jhon.
"Sorry," said the devil. "You can't have
door number 3, that's flight attendants' hell."



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When we were looking to buy property I had
this over zealous realtor show us what can
only be described as a totally worn-out old farm.
I mean the land had just been worked to death.
The weeds were hardly even growing.
The smiling super salesman said, "Now really,
all this land needs is a little water, a nice
cool breeze and some good people."
I replied, "Yeah, I agree, but couldn't the
same be said of Hell?"



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A grandfather was walking past his young
granddaughter's room one night when he
saw her kneeling beside her bed, with head
bowed and hands folded, repeating the alphabet.
"What are you doing?" he asked her.
She explained, "I'm saying my prayers,
but I couldn't think of just what I wanted
to say. So I'm just saying all the letters
of the alphabet, and God can put them
together however he thinks best."



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