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Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students
if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stands up and offers that: "If my best friend who lives
next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him,
that would be a tragedy."
"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove
off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. " That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
"What?" asks Clinton,
"Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says:
"If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb,
*that* would be a tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would
be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly
would be no great loss!"



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Q: Describe a Russian with German punctuality.
A: A person who is consistently late for work by precisely two hours.



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A Russian and an American die and they both go to hell. At the gate
they were asked: "Which hell do you prefer, the Russian or American?"
"Whats the difference?" the Russian asks.
"In the American hell, you will be forced to eat one bucket of waste
every day; in the Russian, two," Satan explains.
The American decides to go to the American hell. The Russian, being a
patriot, chooses the Russian hell. One year later the two men run into
one another.
"Hows life?" the Russian asks.
"Cant complain," the American answers.
"I eat one bucket of waste every morning, and then Im free for the rest
of the day. What about you?"
"It couldnt be better!" the Russian explains.
"Just like back on earth! Theyre either late with waste deliveries, or
theyre having bucket shortages."



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At a party, Albert Einstein introduces himself to the first person
he sees and immediately asks, "What is your IQ?"
"198" the man replies.
"Wonderful!" Albert says. "We will talk about the Grand Unification
Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert then introduces himself to a woman
nearby, asking, "And what is your IQ?"
The lady answers, "125"
"Great!" says Albert. "We can discuss Politics and current affairs. We
will have much to discuss!"
Moving around the room, Albert pulls aside another man and asks,
"What is your IQ?"
to which the man answers, "72"
Albert lets go of his arm and takes his hand to shake it, saying,
"Hello Mr. President!"


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