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The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing
on a balcony beaming at thousands of people
in the forecourt below. The Queen says to
the Pope out of the corner of her mouth,
"I bet you a tenner that I can make every
English person in the crowd go wild with
just a wave of my hand." The Pope says,
"No way. You can't do that."
The Queen says, "Watch this."
So the Queen waves her hand and every
English person in the crowd goes crazy,
waving their little plastic Union Jacks on
sticks and cheering, basically going ballistic.
So the Pope is standing there thinking,
"Uh oh, what am I going to do? I never
thought she'd be able to do it."
So he thinks to himself for a minute and
then he turns to her and says, "I bet
you I can make every Irish person in the
crowd go wild, not just now, but for the
rest of the week, with just one nod of my head."
The Queen goes, "No way, it can't be done."
So the Pope headbutts her.


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Our three past and our current presidents found
themselves following the famous Yellow Brick Road,
on their way to meet The Wizard. They were all
missing just a little something and figured The
Wizard could help them. They meet The Wizard and
he asks each in turn what they need.
"Well", Jimmy Carter says, "I could use some courage."
"No problem," says The Wizard, and Carter gets his
courage, no questions asked.
"What about you, Mr. Reagan?", The Wizard asks.
"If I only had a brain," Mr. Reagan replies, and
voila, Mr. Reagan has his brain.
George Bush is next. "People tell me I could use a heart,"
he pleads, and The Wizard grants Mr. Bush his wish.
"Tell me, Mr. Clinton, what do you most want?", asks The Wizard.
Mr. Clinton doesn't hesitate. "Is Dorothy around?"


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Bill Clinton was arriving back to the White
House from a trip to Arkansas with a pig
under each arm. A secret serviceman greeted him.
"Nice pigs, sir!"
"Thank you. Though these are no ordinary pigs
--they're Arkansas Razorbacks! I got one
for Hillary and one for Chelsea."
"Nice trade, sir!"


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President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval
Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him.
"What is it?" yells the President.
"It's this abortion bill, Mr. President. What do you
want to do about it?" the aide asks.
"Just go ahead and pay it." responds the President.


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