President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter. "It's me, Bill Clinton". "What bad things did you do on earth?" Clinton thought a bit and answered, "Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury." After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied, "OK, here's the deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't call it 'Hell'. You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call it 'eternity'. And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 15 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: What were Bill Clinton's Final Four picks? A: Morehead State, Ball State University, Brigham Young University, and Oral Roberts University. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 152 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A man was walking in the woods and came to a cottage where the walls were covered with clocks. He asked the woman who owned the cottage what all the clocks were for. She replied that everyone in the world had a clock, and every time you told a lie your clock advanced a second. He saw a clock that was hardly moving and when he remarked about it he was told that it was Mother Terisia's. He then asked where Bill Clinton's clock was. The woman replied "It's in the kitchen, we're using it as a ceiling fan." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 12 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. The Clinton's and the Gores are traveling aboard Air Force One. Bill Clinton looks out the window and says, "You know, I bet I could drop a $10,000 bill out the window and make one person very happy!" Al Gore comments, "Yes, but I could drop ten $1000 bills out the window, and make ten people very happy." Hillary Clinton says, "True, but I could drop one hundred $100 bills out the window, and make one hundred people very happy. Chelsea responds, "Big deal! I could drop all of you out the window, and make the whole country happy!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 12 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.