Why did the blonde bring sand paper to the desert? Because she thought it was the map! Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 94 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A blonde and a brunette own a cattle ranch jointly, over in Louisiana. One day, as they are sitting on the verandah sipping mint juleps, the brunette says to the blonde,... "You know, if we had us a bull, why we could increase the size of our heard!" The blonde replies, "Yeah!... Good idea,... I'll bet we could go get one over in Texas too!" The very next day, the brunette goes to the bank, withdraws every cent they have in savings: $600, and heads for Houston to buy a bull. She calls around and soon hooks up with an old boy, who has some stock, and pleads with him to sell her a bull. He soon agrees to sell her his oldest bull, "It's the cheapest one I got, and I'll let you have 'im fer $599" She pays the old cowboy the money, then heads off to the local telegraph office. She walks up to the counter and says, "I would like to send a telegram to Louisiana." The agent replies, "OK, what do you want to say?" She says,... "Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer over". The agent writes it down, and then says, "That'll cost you, at $0.75 a word, about $9.00". She looks at her last dollar bill,... thinks for awhile,... then says, "No... Let me change that to just one word". "And what word would that be?" he asks. "Comfortable", she replies. The agent, puzzled, asks the brunette, "I'm sorry miss,... but is your friend gonna understand that?" The brunette explains, "Oh yes,... my friend is a blonde,... and she reads really slow. When she sees that, she's gonna say out loud... 'COM - FOR - DA - BULL'". Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died." After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She says, "How often do I have to do that?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 9 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Blonde On Vacation A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price." The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you' II luck out and catch yourself a big one." Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on it's back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.