Horseback Riding A blonde named Anna had a near death experience the other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager happened to walk by and unplugged it. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 341 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Top Ten Blonde Inventions 1) The water-proof towel 2) Solar powered flashlight 3) Submarine screen door 4) A book on how to read 5) Inflatable dart board 6) A dictionary index 7) Ejector seat in a helicopter 8) Powdered water 9) Pedal-powered wheel chair 10) Water-proof tea bag Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 10 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a shit." The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and shit." The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass." The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?" The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!" He left and came back with shit all over his hands and clothes. His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?" The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 18 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Blondes Get Equal Time Blondes, having endured years of abuse, have finally responded. Here's what they have to say about redheads and brunettes! ********* REDHEADS ********* How do you get a redhead to argue with you? Say something How do you get a redhead's mood to change? Wait 10 seconds If you love a Redhead, set her free ... if she follows you everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours. What's safer: a redhead or a piranha? The piranha. They only attack in schools. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude? Normal. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A redhead! How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you? She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer? There's a hammer embedded in the monitor. Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. ********* BRUNETTES ********* (The blondes have finally responded. And, boy are they ticked!) What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch? A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes. What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette? Brown-bagging it. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? No one else wants it. What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? Invisible. What's a brunette's mating call? "Has the blonde left yet?" Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes? The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable. Why is the brunette considered an evil color? When was the last time you saw a blonde witch? What do brunettes miss most about a great party? The invitation. What do you call a good looking man with a brunette? A hostage. Who makes bras for brunettes? Fisher-Price. Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? It matches their mustache. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 21 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.