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Horseback Riding

A blonde named Anna had a near death experience the other day
when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until
the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all
her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could
not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When
this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head
continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even
slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing
consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager happened to walk by and
unplugged it.



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Top Ten Blonde Inventions
1) The water-proof towel
2) Solar powered flashlight
3) Submarine screen door
4) A book on how to read
5) Inflatable dart board
6) A dictionary index
7) Ejector seat in a helicopter
8) Powdered water
9) Pedal-powered wheel chair
10) Water-proof tea bag




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Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the
other and said, "I've got to take a shit."

The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and
shit."

The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass."
The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great
idea-- I'll use that!"

He left and came back with shit all over his hands and clothes.

His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened
to you?"

The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass
with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"



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Blondes Get Equal Time

Blondes, having endured years of abuse, have finally responded.
Here's what they have to say about redheads and brunettes!

********* REDHEADS *********

How do you get a redhead to argue with you?
Say something

How do you get a redhead's mood to change?
Wait 10 seconds

If you love a Redhead, set her free ... if she follows you
everywhere you go, pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts
your new girlfriend in the hospital, she's yours.

What's safer: a redhead or a piranha?
The piranha. They only attack in schools.

What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
Normal.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every
night?
A redhead!

How do you know when your redhead has forgiven you?
She stops washing your clothes in the toilet bowl

How do you know when a redhead has been using a computer?
There's a hammer embedded in the monitor.

Only two things are necessary to keep a redhead happy.
One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other
is to let her have it.


********* BRUNETTES *********

(The blondes have finally responded. And, boy are they ticked!)

What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
Brown-bagging it.

What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.

What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
Invisible.

What's a brunette's mating call?
"Has the blonde left yet?"

Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

Why is the brunette considered an evil color?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
The invitation.

What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A hostage.

Who makes bras for brunettes?
Fisher-Price.

Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
It matches their mustache.



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