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Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact
on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it,
looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde
hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and
says, "You dummy, it's me!"



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This blonde walks into the barber shop and asks the barber if
he does perms. The barber, noticing how incredibly beautiful
she was, said "Of course I do perms, but I must insist you take
off your headphones first."

The blonde refused and the barber had no choice but to obey her
request to leave them on. So the blonde sits down in the barber
chair and the barber starts the perm. About half way through
the process the blonde falls asleep.

The barber loving the fact that this beautiful woman is in his
chair decides to take off the headphones so he can do the
perfect perm. So he takes them off and lays them in the counter
and proceeds with the perm.

A couple minutes later the blonde's lips start turning blue.
The barber thought that this was strange but he continued
anyways. A few minutes later her whole face was blue and the
barber called 911.

When the paramedics arrived they pronounced her dead by
suffocation. The barber was miffed as to how this could happen.
So the paramedics took the blonde away from the barber shop.

The barber, being a good barber, went back into the shop and
started cleaning up. While cleaning he noticed the woman's
headphones on the counter. He decided to pick them up and
listen to what the blonde was listening to. When he put them to
his ear he heard "Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out."



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A blond, brunette, and a red head are standing on the top of a
burning building. Firemen come and hold a sheet at the bottom
of the building. They tell the brunette to jump. She jumps and
they move the sheet away. So she crashes and dies. Then they
tell the red head to jump. She says, "I'm not stupid, you'll do
the same to me and so I won't jump." But the firemen tell
her, "Oh no, we just don't like brunettes, we love red heads so
jump." She jumps, but they move away the sheet and she dies.
Then they tell the blond to jump, but she says, "I'm not dumb,
put down the sheet, step away, and then I'll jump."



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There is a blonde, brunette, and a redhead that die. They are
at the Gates of Heaven and they meet God. He says "There are
1,000 steps that lead to Heaven. Every five I will tell you a
joke and if you laugh you have to leave." The brunnete makes it
to the 100th step and starts to laugh and is kicked out. The
redhead makes it to the 500th step and laughes. Finally the
blonde and God are at the 999th step. The blonde starts to
laugh and God asks "Why are you laughing?" She said, "I just
got the first joke!!!!!!"



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