A psychologist was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him. "For your kindness," the genie said, "I will grant you one wish!" The psychologist paused, laughed, and replied, "I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California." The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, "Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they'd have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That's too much to ask." "OK," the psychologist said, not wanting to be unreasonable. "I'm a psychologist. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!" The genie paused, and then sighed, "Did you want two lanes or four?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 154 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. John had an operation and was coming out of the ether. He looked at the two other patients in nearby beds and said, "Thank God that's over!" "Don't be too sure," said Peter in the next bed, "they left a sponge in me and had to cut me open again." Paul, in the other bad added, "They had to open me up too, just to recover one of their instruments." Just then the doctor stuck his head in the door and called, "Anyone seen my hat?" John fainted. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 183 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. This guy travels all over the world gathering information to write a book on various churches, at each church he notices a golden telephone on the wall with a sign saying $10,000. He asked the first priest why it was a $10,000 dollar call, and the priest said "My son that is the price to talk to God." Arriving in St. John's he again sees a golden telephone, but this time the sign reads 25 cents, finding the priest he ask why the call is so cheap, the priest replys, "My son, from here it is a local call." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 211 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Martin: "Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bridge." Doctor: "What's come over you?" Martin: "Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 114 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.