Q: What is the definition of "mixed feelings"? A: What you feel when your mother-in-law drives your brand new truck over a cliff. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 120 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Jim is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, "Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock." Jim says, "Will that keep me from getting sick?" The doctor says, "No, but it'll look real pretty in the water." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 33 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A miserable-looking man was sitting in a bar one night. "Why are you looking so sad?" asked the barman. "My wife's made me a millionaire." said the man. "If my wife made me a millionaire, I'd be the happiest man on earth", said the barman. "Yes, but before I met her I was a multimillionaire." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 35 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 83 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.