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The principal of a local town's middle school
was having problems with the condition of the
girls' bathroom. The girls were leaving lipstick
kisses all over the bathroom mirrors. Warnings
to cease this activity were announced daily over
the loudspeaker to no avail.
One day the principal gathered all of the
suspected girls in the bathroom and introduced
them to the janitor, Mr. Jones. Asking them
again to stop this activity. He emphasized how
hard it was for Mr. Jones to clean the mess,
and then asked Mr. Jones to demonstrate how
hard it was to clean the lipstick off of the mirror.
Mr. Jones stepped forward, withdrew a long
handled brush dipped it into the toilet bowl
and proceeded to clean the mirrors. The principal
is happy to announce that there are no more
problems with lipstick on the mirrors.


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Man to his wife: "I'm not going to school today.
The teachers don't like me, the kids call me names,
even the janitor's rude to me."
Wife: "Don't be silly. You have to go. I'll give
you two good reasons why."
Man: "What are they?"
Wife: "One, you're forty years old; and two,
you're the principal."


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My phone bill was past due and I needed to change my
service, so I had to visit the local Bell of Pa. office.
The line wasn't clearly formed, and there was an old
man with a cane nearby me. It was unclear as to who was next.
When we got to the front of the line, the man gestured
to me and said, "After you."
I smiled at him and said, "No, please, after you. I
have all day."
The he said, "No. You go ahead. My doctor says I have
at least six months."


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Voice: Hello. We need twelve vehicles in the
parade square immediately. Two of them must
be limousines.
Reply: What are the limousines for? To haul
those fat-slob generals around in, I bet.
Voice: Soldier, do you know who this is speaking?
Reply: No, I don't.
Voice: This is General Wilson.
Reply: Do you know who this is speaking, sir?
Voice: No, I don't.
Reply: See ya' round, fatso!


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