Three girls are on an island, a blonde, a burnette, and a redhead. The island is about a hundred miles off shore. The readhead swims half-way to shore gets tired and drowned. Next, the burnette swims three quarters of the way, gets tired and drowned. Last, the blonde swims about 99.9% of the way, gets tired and swims all the way back to the island. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 7 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A blonde man,a hispanic man,and an Irish man are working on a construction site,and it's time for lunch. The blonde man opens up his lunch and finds PB and J and he says "Oh,God! If I have to eat another one of these,I swear I'll jump off this building and kill myself!!" The Hispanic man opens up his lunch and says "Eicharamba! If I have to eat another bean burrito,I swear I'll jump with you!!" The Irish man opens up his lunch and says "Oh! If I have to eat another chicken sandwich I swear I'll jump too!!" So the next day,they all have the same things in their lunches, so they commit suicide by jumping off the building together. At their funerals,the wives of the Hispanic and Irish men say "Oh,if only they would have told us they wanted something different, we would've given it to them. "But the wife of the blonde man says "Don't look at me,he packed his own lunch." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 27 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. This (Blonde) fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, "Look, I have a lot of models, but why don't you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of- the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day." So, the man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees.After cutting for several hours and only cutting two cords, he decides to quit. He thinks there is something wrong with the chainsaw. "How can I cut for hours and only cut two cords?" the man asks himself. "I will begin first thing in the morning and cut all day," the man tells himself. So, the next morning the man gets up at 4 am in the morning and cuts and cuts, and cuts till nightfall, and still he only manages to cut five cords. The man is convinced this is a bad saw. "The dealer told me it would cut one hundred cords of wood in a day, no problem. I will take this saw back to the dealer," the man says to himself. The very next day the man brings the saw back to the dealer and explains the problem. The dealer, baffled by the man's claim, removes the chainsaw from the case. The dealer says, "Hmm, it looks fine." Then the dealer starts the chainsaw, to which the man responds, "What's that noise? Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 5 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 5 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.