A man and his four year old son are talking, when his son asks him "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" The Dad confused, asks him "before or after sex?" The kid says "Ummm before sex" So the dad says to him "Well have u ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red peddles." "yeah" says the son."well what about after sex?" he says to his dad. His dad replies "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 14 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and started to go back to sleep. A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment tomorrow, do you?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 61 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?" Santa replied, "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys." So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?" "Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to gook girls and boys." She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?" Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 45 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 75 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.