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By the time John arrived at the football game,
the first quarter was almost over.
George: "Why are you so late?".
John: "I had to toss a coin to decide between going
to church and coming to the game."
George: "How long could that have taken you?"
John: "Well, I had to toss it 81 times."


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My grandmother started walking five miles
a day when she was 60.
She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.


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Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?

A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.


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John: "What do you do for a living?"
George: "I pack parachutes."
John: "That`s not an easy job. How do you manage it?"
George: "Very well, I think.
No one`s ever complained about my work."


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