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Q: What do David Beckham and British rail
trains have in common?
A: They both go in and out of Victoria.


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An unemployed biologist was starving and could
not find a job. After weeks of searching, he
finally gets an interview at a local zoo. The
zookeeper tells him that the only job available
is to dress up in a gorilla's skin and pretend
to be a gorilla so people will keep coming to
the zoo. On his first day on the job, the poor
biologist puts on the skin and goes into the cage.
The people all cheer to see him. After a while,
he starts really putting on a show, jumping
around, beating his chest and roaring. During
one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his
balance and crashes through some safety netting,
landing square in the middle of the lion cage!
As he lies there stunned, the lion rushes toward
him, roaring and snarling. The poor biologist
is terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help...
someone help me!!!!"
The lion races over to him, knocks him to the
ground, and quietly whispers "Hey it's me Sam,
from your mammal class, shut up or we'll both
lose our jobs!"


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A salesman is driving toward home in northern
Ontario when he sees an Indian thumbing for a
ride on the side of the road. As the trip had
been long and quiet, he stops the car and the
Indian gets in. After a bit of small talk, the
Indian notices a brown bag on the front seat.
"What's in the bag?", asks the Indian.
"It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife",
says the salesman.
The Indian is silent for a moment then says,
"Good trade"


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A lonely guy decided that life would be more
fun if he had a pet. So, he went to the pet
store and told the owner that he wanted to
buy an unusual pet. After some discussion,
he decided on a centipede, which came in a
little white box to use for its house. He took
the centipede home, found a good location for
the box, and then decided he would start off
by taking his new pet out for a walk. He
walked over to the box and asked, "Would you
like to go to out for a short walk with me?"
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few
minutes and then asked him again, "How about
going out for an evening walk?"
But again, there was no answer from his new
friend. He waited a few minutes more, thinking
about the situation. He decided to ask him
one more time; this time putting his face up
against the centipede's house and shouting,
"Hey, in there! Would you like to go out for
a walk!!!?"
An agitated little voice came shrieking from
the box, "I heard you the first time...I'm
putting on my shoes!"


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