Q: What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man? A: Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 816 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...`" "Shut up!" shouted furoius Santa. "Watch your language! You`re not allowed to use the swearwords". "But, Dad," replied the boy, "that`s what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it." Next day Santa went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens!" said the teacher. "That`s not what I taught them. They`re supposed to say, Two plus two, the sum of which is four." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 147 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. One fall day Peter was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Peter went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Peter. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died", said the man. Peter then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." Peter thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?" To which the man replied, "Get in line." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 156 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a light bulb? A: Yeah, as if they have electricity in Liverpool... Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 120 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.