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John had an operation and
was coming out of the ether.
He looked at the two other
patients in nearby beds and
said, "Thank God that's over!"
"Don't be too sure," said
Peter in the next bed,
"they left a sponge in me
and had to cut me open again."
Paul, in the other bad added,
"They had to open me up too,
just to recover one of their
instruments."
Just then the doctor stuck
his head in the door and
called, "Anyone seen my hat?"
John fainted.


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This guy travels all over the
world gathering information to
write a book on various churches,
at each church he notices a
golden telephone on the wall
with a sign saying $10,000.
He asked the first priest why
it was a $10,000 dollar call,
and the priest said "My son
that is the price to talk to God."
Arriving in St. John's he again
sees a golden telephone, but
this time the sign reads 25
cents, finding the priest he
ask why the call is so cheap,
the priest replys, "My son,
from here it is a local call."


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Martin: "Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a bridge."
Doctor: "What's come over you?"
Martin: "Oh, two cars, a large truck and a coach."


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A city mouse had a country
mouse stay for the weekend,
and spent the whole time
offering urban advice.
On the last evening of the
country mouse's visit, they
were dining in the kitchen
when in came the largest
cat the country mouse had
ever seen.
"Don't panic", said the town
mouse, "Leave this to me."
Marching up to the cat she
said, "Bow wow wow wow!"
The cat turned and ran
from the room.
"How did you do that?" asked
the country mouse.
"Like I told you," said
the town mouse, "it pays
to learn a second language."


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