A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn't they just throw out the pest. "Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner." Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 19 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. I've always ordered beverages one simple way: "A Coke, please." Lately, though, this hasn't seemed to work. Waitresses now often respond, "I'm sorry, we don't have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Mr. Pibb." Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, I thought I'd make life easier. So one day I simply asked the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a "dark, carbonated beverage." The young man behind the counter chuckled and asked, "Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 49 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again--the strain would be too much. The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation. This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs--she's coming downstairs, he's heading up. "Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide." "I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!" Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 25 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS. Q: what do students sail on ? A: a scholarship. Rate the joke: 1 2 3 4 5 118 people already rated this joke. Send this joke to a friend Start your day smiling with a funny joke by SMS.