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Nuns ran an orphanage for girls in a rural part of Georgia.

One day, the Mother Superior called in 3 teenage girls who were about to leave and seek
their way in life.

'You have led a very sheltered life and you are going into an extremely sinful world,' she
said.

'I must warn you that men will take advantage of you. They'll do anything to get their
way.

They'll take you to restaurants, buy you drinks and dinner, then back to their apartments
and motels where they'll undress you, do terrible things, give you twenty or thirty
dollars and kick you out.'

'Excuse me, Mother,' one of the girls asked. 'You mean men will take advantage of us and
give us cash?'

'Yes child, why do you ask?'

'Because the priests only give us candy!'


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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.

Michael J. Fox has a small one.

Madonna doesn't have one.

The Pope has one but doesn't use it.

The Artist Formerly Known as Prince won't admit that he has one.

Clinton uses his all the time.

What is it?

Answer: A LAST NAME!



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A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle.

He goes to a gun shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.

The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my
house all the way up on that hill."

The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.

"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.

"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house," the man replies.

The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house.

Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this
scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the
guy's dick off."

The man takes another look through the scope, and says, "You know what? I think I can do
that with one shot!"




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A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a
few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "And this morning
she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "And this
morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you
make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."



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