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Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held
his fragile hand, tears running down her face.Her praying roused him from his slumber. He
looked up, and his pale lips began to move slightly.

"Becky, my darling," he whispered.

"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."

He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I have something that I must
confess."

"There isn't anything to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everything's alright, go to
sleep."

"No, no, I must die in peace, Becky. I... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her
best friend, and your mother!"

"I know," whispered Becky, "that's why I poisoned you."



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"Class dismissed!" the teacher yelled.

Little Johnny doesn't go, he walks to the teachers desk and says, "Teacher can I go home
with you?"

The teacher says "No!"

Little Johnny says, "I'll tell my daddy."

So the teacher says, "Okay."

They get to the teachers house and she says, "Well I'm going to take a quick shower, you
sit right here."

"Can I take a shower with you?" he asks.

"NO!" says the teacher.

"I'll tell my daddy!!"

"Well, okay, I guess so."

So, they're in the shower and little Johnny says, "Can I turn off the lights?"

"No!" says the teacher.

"I'll tell my daddy."

"Well, okay."

So the lights are off and little Johnny says, "Can I stick my finger in your belly
button?"

"NO!" says the teacher.

"I'll tell my daddy."

"Well, okay"says the teacher.

"JOHNNY!!!! That's not my belly-button!"

"Yeah? That's not my finger either."



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A new bride went to her doctor for a check up.

Lacking knowledge of the male anatomy, she asked the doctor, "What's that thing hanging
between my husbands legs?"

The doctor replies, "We call that the penis."

The new bride then asks, "What's that reddish/purple thing on the end of the penis?"

The doctor replies, "We call that the head of the penis.

The bride then asks, "What are those 2 round things about 15 inches from the head of the
penis?"

The doctor replies, "Lady, on him I don't know, but on me they're the cheeks of my ass!"


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Nuns ran an orphanage for girls in a rural part of Georgia.

One day, the Mother Superior called in 3 teenage girls who were about to leave and seek
their way in life.

'You have led a very sheltered life and you are going into an extremely sinful world,' she
said.

'I must warn you that men will take advantage of you. They'll do anything to get their
way.

They'll take you to restaurants, buy you drinks and dinner, then back to their apartments
and motels where they'll undress you, do terrible things, give you twenty or thirty
dollars and kick you out.'

'Excuse me, Mother,' one of the girls asked. 'You mean men will take advantage of us and
give us cash?'

'Yes child, why do you ask?'

'Because the priests only give us candy!'


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