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A man approached his friend and said, "Say Jim, you want to hit the golf course this
afternoon?"

"Sorry, I can't," came the reply

"Why not?" he asked.

He responded, "my doctor told me I can't play."

"Oh," said the friend, "so he's been out with you too?"


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Little Jonny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.


Interested in what the rosy-cheeked youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you
up to there, Jonny?"

"My goldfish died," replied Jonny tearfully, without looking
up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Jonny patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your
cat!"



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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through
the woods, and they came across a golden frog.

They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't
often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes. He told them that
they could have 3 wishes each.

Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females.

The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash
helmet.

One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head. Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr.
Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish.

He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog
granted his wish.

Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board
and started revving the engine.

Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he
could have had for himself.

Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were
females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world.

The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last
wish.

Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, "I wish that Mr. Bear was
gay!" and rode off as fast as he could!


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One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to
escape the cold.

The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his
little flee legs.

Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'.

The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?"

To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so
very coldddd!"

The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the
airport, go straight to the ladies cammode, wait for a pretty young stewardess to come
along, and when she sits down you climb right up in there where its nice and warm".

The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea.

The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches
again.

The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his
little flea legs.

About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling
about how cold he was.

The first flea exclaimed "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here
nice and warm?"

To which the second flea replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the ladies cammode
and this pretty stewardess came in and sat down, I climbed right up in there and it was so
very warm.

Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I
was, right back on that bikers mustache!


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