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There was a young lady of Crewe,
Who said as the Bishop withdrew,
"The Vicar was slicker
And thicker and quicker
And five inches longer than you!"



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An exotic young lady named Suki
Once danced in a troupe of kabuki.
When asked for a fuck
She said, "Sorry, no luck -
See here: looky looky, no nooki."



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A Mother was reading a Bible story
to her young daughter. She read
"The man named Lot was warned to
take his wife and flee out of the city, but
his wife looked back and was turned to
a pillar of salt".
Her daughter asked "What happened to the flee?"


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A raven cock sat full of woe.
His lady friend just told him "No!
You, bub, I ain't marryin',
You're too full of carrion,
You'd better go off and eat crow."


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Just time for a sandwich and beer
In the mere 30 hours I'll be here;
For tomorrow I pack
Up my bags and go back
Once again (up to North) I fear.


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The feminists' movement's fast trip
Was started with Nietzche's curt quip
That some thought exquisite:
"When going to visit
The woman, forget not the whip!"


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Now Dimitra's known as Dim
With a waistline that's totally trim
But her man has decreed
He'll sow no more seed
She's lamenting her unemployed quim


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Hey Sam! Where's that piece on Iraq?"
Said the ed. to the newspaper hack.
"Nearly finished, but Jill
The sub-editor still
Wants to check out my column", said Sam
"Well quick - there's eight inches to fill", Said the ed.
"Yes I know", whispered Gill
beneath the desk as she checked
Out Sam's column erect,
"I've no doubt whatsoever he will."


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Said Lenny to penny and Jenny,
"Why is it you won't give me any?"
Said Jenny and Penny:
"We're handling too many,
Like Denny and Kenny and Benny."


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