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A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He
watched the game in astonishment for a while.
"I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed.
"That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."
"No, he's not so smart," the friend replied’ "I've beaten him three games out of five."



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There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said: "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary.
They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other cow replies: "I am not worried, it doesn't affect us ducks."



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A man walks into a bar one day and asks:
"Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
"Well, I think my Chihuahua just killed him..."
"What are you talking about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly.
"How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"
"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"



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A preacher is buying a parrot.
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's
prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.



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