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Q: What did the man say when the steamroller ran
over his cat?

A: Nothing. He just stood there with a long puss.


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Two dogs were walking down the street.
Dog 1: "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back."
He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant
for about a minute, then walks back across the street.
Dog 2: "What was that about?"
Dog 1: "I was just checking my messages."


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A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting
on one of the shelves, munching on a lettuce leaf.
Lady: "What are you doing in there?".
Rabbit: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?".
Lady: "Uh, yes."
Rabbit: "Well, I'm westing".


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A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden
two turtles appear. They take his money,
and leave him for dead.
Months later in the courtroom, the judge asks the snail
to describe what happened on the night of the assault.
The snail: "Gee, I would love to, your honor,
but it all happened so fast!"


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