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Mr. Barns got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet, and very polite.

One morning while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room,
she said, "Mr. barns, your barracks door is open."

Mr. Barns did not understand her remark, but when he looked down later and saw that his
zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his secretary.

Calling her in, he asked, "By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open
this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?"

The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was a little disabled
veteran sitting on two duffel bags."



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A woman six months pregnant gets on a bus. She notices the man near her was smiling at
her. She immediately moves to another seat.

but the man's smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. on
her fourth move, the man bursted out laughing.

The case was taken to court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself.

The main replied, "Well your Honor said the man , when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't
help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said "The Gold Dust Twins are
coming," and I had to smile.

"Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Sloan's Liniment will reduce the swelling"
and I had to grin.


"Then she placed herself under a sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick" and I
could hardly control myself.

"but when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said "Good-year Rubber could
have prevented this accident," I laughed out loud."

"Case Dismissed!" said the Judge.



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Me and my wife,
we allways go to bed at the same time.
i get in bed in N.Y. , she in San diego...


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wats 6inches long 2inches wide and drives women wild?

100 dollar bill


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