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In a Veteran's Day speech, President Bush vowed, 'We will finish the mission. Period.'
Afterwards, he was advised he doesn't have to read the punctuation marks.





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George W. Bush and his driver were going to Air Force One and were passing a farm. A pig
jumped out in the road suddenly. The driver tried to get out of the way, but he hit him.
He went in the farm to explain what had happened. He came out with a beer, a cigar, and a
tons of money. Bush saw this and said, "My God, what did you tell them?" The driver
replied, "I told them that I'm George W. Bush's driver and I just killed the pig."




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A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey... "If you mean the demon
drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames
sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield
against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to
comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not
compromise!"




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George W. Bush told Dick Cheney, "I really hate all the stupid jokes people make about
me." Cheney reassured him by saying, "Jokes can't hurt you. They are just made up by a
bunch of stupid people. In fact, most humans are quite stupid. Here, I'll show you what I
mean."

Cheney goes outside and hails a D.C. cab and says to the driver, "Please take me to 261 M
street to see if I'm home, " said Cheney.

Without a word, the cabbie took them straight to M Street. Cheney then rang the doorbell,
came back to the car and said, "Oh, I guess I'm not there! Take us back to where we
started, please."

The cabbie did what he was told without a word. Cheney leaned over and said to Dubya, "You
get the idea? People are idiots wherever you go! Don't worry about their opinions!"

Bush said, "Thanks Dick. I feel a lot better." Then he winked and whispered, "Hooboy, was
he stupid! He picked us up right in front of a phone booth. He should have realized you
could have called instead!




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