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A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the
television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's
the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood
up, walked over to him, and decked him. A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his
beer, Mrs. Bush appeared on the television. "She's a horse's ass too," the man. This time,
a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked
him off his stool. "Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be
Bush country!" "Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"




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George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor
said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your
brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."

Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to
their brain?"

The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on
the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything
left."




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When Einstein died and arrived at the gates of heaven, St. Peter wouldn't let him in until
he proved his identity. Einstein scribbled out a couple of his equations, and was admitted
into paradise.

And when Picasso died, St. Peter asked, "How do I know you're Picasso?"

Picasso sketched out a couple of his masterpieces. St. Peter was convinced and let him
in.

When George W. Bush died, he went to heaven and met the man at the gates. "How can you
prove to me you're George W. Bush?" Saint Peter said.

Bush replied, "Well heck, I don't know."

St. Peter says, "Well, Albert Einstein showed me his equations and Picasso drew his famous
pictures. What can you do to prove you're George W. Bush?"

Bush replies, "Who are Albert Einstein and Picasso?"

St. Peter says, "It must be you, George, c'mon on in."




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Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car together in the Midwest.
A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards
away. When they come down and extract themselves from the vehicle, they realize they're in
the land of Oz. They decide to go to see the Wizard of Oz. Quayle says, "I'm going to ask
the Wizard for a brain." Gingrich says, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton
says, "Where's Dorothy?"




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