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Clinton walks out into his garden one day and in the snow he says "bastard" written in
piss. He is so outraged he goes into the oval office and calls the CIA and FBI to tell
them to find out who did this horrible thing to his garden. So they go out and investigate
and when they return they say "Well Bill, we've got bad news and we've got worse news,
which one would you like to hear first?" And Bill says, "What's the bad news?" The agent
replies, "It was Al Gore." Aghast Bill yells, "That dirty no good son of a bitch!!!!!
What's the worse news?" So the agent says, "It was Hillary's handwriting..."




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The Clinton's and the Gores are traveling aboard Air Force One. Bill Clinton looks out the
window and says, "You know, I bet I could drop a $10,000 bill out the window and make one
person very happy!" Al Gore comments, "Yes, but I could drop ten $1000 bills out the
window, and make ten people very happy." Hillary Clinton says, "True, but I could drop one
hundred $100 bills out the window, and make one hundred people very happy. Chelsea
responds, "Big deal! I could drop all of you out the window, and make the whole country
happy!"




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Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Bill Clinton are on the titanic. When it starts to sink
Carter yells, "Quick, save the women and children!" Nixon: "Screw the women and children"
Clinton: "Do we have time?"




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Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was
airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a
whiskey & soda, which was brought and placed before him.

The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink. The minister replied
in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch
these lips!"

The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't
know there was a choice. I'll have the same thing he's having."




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